Explosions
by diellemabelle
Summary: Future AU; inspired by the song by Ellie Goulding. Kyoko is now famous with a proper manager and is dating Ren. Out of nowhere, Shou contacts Kyoko, saying "I need you". Confusion and indecision plague Kyoko while everyone tells her to keep her distance. A story of growing up and moving on. "It's ok to be afraid/but it will never be the same."
1. You trembled like you'd seen a ghost

**AU notes: This story takes place about 1 year in the future from manga chapter 215/216-ish (which is currently in April of the second year since chapter 1). In this alternate timeline, Kyoko reconciles with her mother. Kyoko is technically still in the LoveME section... but she has debuted as an actress, with her first lead role in a movie.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: You trembled like you'd seen a ghost...**

Three years have passed since Fuwa Shou disposed of the "boring, unattractive girl" from his hometown. That girl was a fool in love with an even greater fool. Though Shou figured that there was nothing she could ever do to hurt him, being the untouchable pop star that all the girls love, it turned out he was wrong. Fortunately for her, when he tore apart her illusions of a fairy tale life, she discovered a hidden strength she didn't know she possessed. Over time, she built herself up again, working toward what she thought was the ultimate revenge: becoming an even bigger celebrity than Shou.

And it happened.

As strange as it seems, considering her unquenchable thirst for revenge at the beginning, the hatred Kyoko held for Shoutaro had dwindled to a tiny blip on her grudge radar. Three years of training and sacrifice in LME's LoveME section had finally paid off. She was a maturing actress, busy enough with lead roles and social appointments that she no longer needed the motivation of destroying a childhood rival and former love interest. The work she did now was for to achieve her own goals. Besides, she and Tsuruga-san were particularly happy together, taking their budding relationship one small step at a time. Next week would mark their one month anniversary since they'd started dating. Looking back to what she'd had with Shou, the comparison made it all the clearer how callously he'd used her. Regardless, Kyoko chalked it up to her own youthful ignorance and moved on.

The spring breeze fluttered around the orange-haired beauty, whipping her floral scarf pleasantly behind her. Though it wasn't her trusted bicycle, which the President had forbid her from riding since her debut, she found equal joy in riding behind Tsuruga-san on his motorcycle. She felt like part of the scenery in a way she never could inside a car - the early morning smells of bread and coffee greeting her eager nose and the rush of dew-laden air against her cheeks made this commute something precious to her.

As she relished in the rare opportunity to ride to work together with her beloved, her phone vibrated wildly, as if demanding her attention. The young woman didn't notice at all. Watching the endless line of business suit commuters they passed on the sidewalk, Kyoko tightened her grip on Tsuruga-san's waist. Among the scooters, his Ducati accelerated, slicing through traffic like a hot knife through butter. Next stop: LME.

"Good morning, Kyoko!" greeted her manager, Kimura-san, as she stepped forward to carry her charge's helmet. The clacking of her black heels echoed in the parking garage. As the young actress removed the safety gear, Kimura-san admired the outfit she'd put together: a deep purple shrug sweater over a white sheath dress patterned with red and purple floral designs and the scarf to match. But, as her brown eyes reached the hem of the dress, she physically winced with disapproval.

"Kyoko, what are those on your knees?"

Kyoko glanced down in confusion. "Uh, knee-pads?" she replied, not following why her manager was so angry all of a sudden.

Tsuruga-san chuckled to himself as he parked the bike in his usual spot. Since Mogami-san was never fully aware of her appearance, he felt that her new manager was a perfect fit. Kimura Touko was a fashionable woman in her early thirties who was never afraid to speak her mind.

Case in point, Kimura-san was berating Kyoko for her half-assed fashion sense.

"No. Don't ever wear those again in public."

"But Kimura-san! Other than the head, motorcycle-related injuries occur most often on the legs and knees. I was only trying to protect myself."

"Do you even realize that you're an idol? No, not just an idol, a freaking super-star?! You can't go around town looking like a safety advertisement!"

Kyoko pushed her fingers together mumbling, "I wouldn't mind promoting proper bike safety to my fans…"

Shaking her head, Kimura threw a glance at Tsuruga-san that said _"She isn't going to give up on this one, is she?"_. Ren shook his head, smiling a little at her frustration. With a sigh, she let the subject drop.

"You'd better at least have brought a proper pair of shoes today." _Those running shoes will be the death of me. _

"Of course!" Kyoko replied, rummaging through her large purse. Her hand grazed her phone, which shivered with a missed call warning. "Oh," she said, pulling the cell out of her bag, "I missed a call. Please excuse me." Bowing to both of them, she headed into the office for some privacy. Over her shoulder she added, "Thank you for the ride, Tsuruga-san!"

"It was my pleasure."

"'Tsuruga-san', huh? She still isn't calling you 'Ren'?" Kimura-san snickered, tucking a lock of her wavy black hair behind her ear. "I figure you've got a long road ahead of you, lover-boy. Will you ever get to second-base, I wonder…"

"Please keep those thoughts to yourself," grumbled Ren as he followed Kyoko into the office to find Yashiro-san. Despite the obvious benefits to Mogami-san, there were a few problems with having such an outspoken woman around.

Plopping herself into the first chair she found, Kyoko slipped into her obligatory "cute heels". About the phone call, since only a few people had access to her phone number, she figured it was probably Kanae confirming their supper plans for tonight. So when she casually flipped her phone open to check her missed calls, she frowned at the number displayed. It wasn't an unknown caller, and the number looked familiar. She puzzled over it for a moment before deciding it was probably a co-star from one of her previous projects, and pressed the "send" button.

"..." the phone rang several times until finally a voice crackled over the line, "Kyoko."

Kyoko's breath hitched. That's why the number looked so familiar.

"Shou. Why did you call me?" _Keep it short and to the point and maybe nothing bad will happen._

"I need you."

'_Need', is it? _Kyoko bristled. _As in you Need someone to insult and infuriate? _

She kept her answer ambiguous. "Hmm?"

"Please, meet me at the Tokyo Palace Hotel, Room 203."

The line cut out. As usual, he didn't ask - he told her exactly what he wanted her to do. Taking a deep breath, Kyoko speculated on what he could possibly want from her this time.

Things had been tense between them last spring when her TV drama Box R had come out. At first, the ratings had been dismal, but mid-way through the season when the bullying scenes became more intense, the show's popularity skyrocketed. That time, Shou felt the need to one-up her by launching a Japan-wide tour ending with a huge concert at the Tokyo Dome. Though he'd been acting like they were competing against each other for super-stardom status, he'd already been there ages ago. While he tried to rub it in her face by inviting her as his guest to the Japan Music Awards, she 'respectfully' declined. (Also, Tsuruga-san wouldn't have stood for it, had he known about the invitation.) Enough was enough. Though it was a huge blow to her ego, Kyoko realized that she might never be as popular as he was and there was no use in fighting him anymore.

But that was exactly when her own reputation had exploded. From the moment she received her first offer for a lead role to now, she hadn't had any contact with Shou - nor had she really thought about him. _Did something happen, I wonder... _

"Mogami-san?" called Kimura-san from the end of the hallway. "You're going to be late for your meeting."

Throwing Shou to the back of her mind, she sprang to her feet. "Coming!"

* * *

Later that evening, Kanae and Kyoko were enjoying a delicious sushi dinner at a new upscale restaurant. The owner had approached President Takarada in hopes that some of his up-and-coming artistes would grace his opening night with their presence. Though Kyoko hated these work-related public appearances, when she heard that her "Moko-san" would be there, she quickly gave her consent. It had been ages since they'd had a girl's night, and it couldn't have come at a better time.

As they waited for their next order to arrive, Kanae placed her elbows on the table and gave Kyoko the full force of her detective-like eyes. "Hey, Kyoko, what's on your mind? You seem a bit down."

Trying to make it less of a big deal, Kyoko shrugged, "It's nothing, really."

"Tell me."

"Well…" The subject was actually kind of hard to bring up, now that she had to. "Do you remember Shou?"

"WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU THIS TIME?!"

Cringing from her immediate response, Kyoko cowered under the table. "L-like I said, it's nothing."

Kanae scoffed, tossing her dark hair out of her face rather forcefully. "It's never 'nothing' with that bastard. He's always trying to find a way to screw you over. Since that crap he pulled at the JMAs, I vowed never to let you near him again."

While Kyoko waited for her friend's anger to subside, Kanae added, "And didn't you make a similar promise to Tsuruga-san?"

Kyoko nodded. "It was just a phone call, honest. I'm going to tell Tsuruga-san tonight."

Their sushi arrived and Moko-san breathed out an exasperated sigh. "Well fine. What did he have to say?"

"That's the weird part, he didn't really say anything." Thinking back to their conversation, hadn't his voice sounded a bit muffled? _Maybe he has a cold or something… _

Soft, traditional Japanese music wafted around the girls as they chewed. Chimes and the strumming of a shimasen gave a misleading peaceful aura to the club. Since they were in a semi-private room, it felt more comfortable than the rest of the modern eatery. This wasn't really a place for conversations and candle-lit dinners, it was a place to be trendy and to be seen. As expected, the track skipped, repeated, skipped, and after bouncing between two notes for a full minute it dropped the bass.

"So why did he call then?" Kanae shouted over the aggressive electronic music.

For a second she debated not telling Moko-san, because she was sure to overreact. But when Kyoko met her friend's eyes, she found them full of concern.

"He said he needs me. He wants me to meet him at the Tokyo Palace Hotel."

"Well obviously you won't go," Kanae said dismissively.

"..."

"Kyoko." The club was getting louder, but Kanae wouldn't accept that as an excuse to drop the conversation. Frowning, she leaned forward and pleaded, "You can't just go to him every time he calls. Just because it's been a year, it doesn't mean he's changed."

Poking a mango roll, Kyoko muttered, "I wasn't planning on going. He just sounded so sincere I sort of wondered if maybe something had happened."

As usual, Kyoko was being totally naive.

"How about this, then?" Kanae suggested as she lifted her jacket from the booth, "I'll look into what's been going on with Fuwa. You sit tight for tonight, and I'll call you in the morning with what I find. You're not filming tomorrow, are you?"

"No, I've got the weekend off," Kyoko whisper-shouted directly in her friend's ear.

Heads swiveled to watch the two actresses leave. As usual, Kanae wasn't bothered by the bright flashes of cell phone pictures being taken in their wake, but it always made Kyoko feel uncomfortable. Her friend noticed her attitude shift and grabbed Kyoko's hand with a devilish smile, running out of the club and pulling her outside. Normally she'd be annoyed, but when Moko-san's laughing face looked back at her, she couldn't help but smile too. For a moment they were just two high-school girls enjoying a night on the town. It was moments like this that were the reason they were best friends.

They settled themselves in the limo that was waiting for them. "Alright, I'll call you in the morning. Do we have a deal?"

"Sure," Kyoko said, looking out the window. It wasn't like she even cared what happened to Shou anymore. More than anything, the desire to completely ignore his request was growing on her. _What will he do when I don't come running to his side?_ She grinned inwardly. To her friend, she said, "Good plan, Moko-san."

The limo dropped her off in front of the Darumaya. She turned to wave at Kanae, but her hand wilted at the sight of her serious face peering out of the window.

"Please keep your promise, Kyoko."

Giggling with fake amusement, Kyoko replied, "Of course, Moko-san, no problem!" She saluted her friend happily, ignoring the feeling of annoyance that was simmering beneath the surface. _Why doesn't she trust me?_

Kanae waved hesitantly and rolled up the window. It was hard to be a best friend to Kyoko when she was constantly worrying about her. That girl seemed to attract trouble like a lightning rod. Sometimes wondered how much she was allowed to meddle in Kyoko's personal affairs without being a pain. But... when it came to Shou, Kanae's self-control disappeared because she knew the kind of damage he could cause with a single word from his obnoxious mouth.

In her room, Kyoko dialed Tsuruga-san number. It was late, but she knew he was a night-owl and wouldn't be going to sleep for a few more hours.

"Hello?"

"Tsuruga-san?"

"Ah, Mogami-san." She could hear the smile in his voice. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It's about our… promise. I said I'd tell you whenever Shou contacts me."

"Did you see him?" he asked quickly.

"No."

"...Alright, please, go ahead."

Kyoko squirmed at the intensity of Tsuruga-san request. It was like he was preparing for war.

"Really, it's nothing," Kyoko started, feeling a nagging sense of déjà vu. "He called me and asked for me to meet with him."

"Did you agree to meet him?"

"No, he hung up before I could answer."

"Hm." Ren rubbed his eyebrows. He had been lounging on the couch when she called, reading a potential script half-heartedly. With just the mention of Fuwa's name, he was instantly on full alert. "What were the exact words he used?"

The annoyance bubbled again. Kyoko remained silent for a moment, not liking the way everyone was treating her. Of course Shou was bad news, but to think that everyone was so certain that she'd blindly follow his requests was a little irritating. Especially coming from Tsuruga-san.

"Mogami-san?"

"..."

"...Kyoko?"

"What does it matter, what words he used? It's not like I'll see him. Surely you know me better than that?"

Ren closed his eyes. "Don't be like that, Kyoko. I'm just trying to protect you."

Her heart warmed a little. "I know," she sighed. "I just wish that everyone would stop treating me like a child."

With the mention of "everyone" Ren's suspicion deepened. Though he could tell she wanted to be reassured right now, his own desire to further investigate the matter won his attention. "Who else have you told? When did this happen?"

Again, Kyoko jumped on the defensive. "I promised I would tell you as soon as possible. Do you think I would keep this from you for even a day?"

"Mogami-san, I -"

"You know, I'm actually quite tired. I think I'll hang up first. Goodnight."

As soon as she pressed "end" she regretted getting so temperamental. She wasn't usually like this; maybe Shou had her more on edge than she thought. But what could she do about it? She'd promised Moko-san to wait until morning. With a heavy heart, she got ready for bed. Promising herself she'd apologize to Tsuruga-san in the morning, she drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

The morning was full of uncomfortable thoughts. She didn't want to be treated like she couldn't handle herself, but at the same time she was getting all worked up over a stupid phone call. Moko-san was right. If she just ignored him, Shou would probably lose interest. He wasn't important enough to cause fights with her best friend and boyfriend.

She was washing the breakfast dishes when her phone rang.

Expecting Moko-san, she quickly answered. "Yes?"

"If I stopped by your house, would you let me in?"

"Shou?" she coughed, caught completely off-guard.

_Moko-san, this doesn't count as breaking my promise, right?_

"I'm just outside." Again, his voice sounded softer than normal.

"What happened to the Palace?" she asked, trying to buy herself some time as she peeked out the front windows. Sure enough, Shou was standing with his back to her and his phone against his ear.

"You didn't come." He said it like it was obvious.

"Well, go back to your fancy suite. I haven't decided if I want to see you yet."

"..." His shadow darkened the doorway ominously.

"..." Crouching on the other side of the door, Kyoko's breathing stilled, as if worried that any sound she made would count as an invitation to come in.

His hand reached out to the door, but he balled his fist before it made contact.

"I'm sorry." He hung up.

As his form retreated, Kyoko breathed a shaky sigh of relief. _What the hell was that about?_ Going back to her dishes, she shook her head. _Whatever, at least he left._

When Moko-san called an hour later, Kyoko was outside, taking a walk to clear her head.

"I think I found something."

For some reason, Kyoko felt her heart race. "Yes?"

"Well according to the internet, Shou just returned to Japan from his World Tour."

"World Tour?! He has fans in other countries?"

"Yeah, apparently. I searched his latest album and half of the songs are in English."

Turning herself back in the direction of home, Kyoko thought about it. If this was about Revenge, then maybe he was just trying to get her attention so he could brag. A world tour was a big deal, after all. But it didn't feel like that was his purpose. From the two conversations she'd had with him, he actually sounded beaten down.

That gave Kyoko a hunch. "Did the concerts go well?"

"What do you mean?"

"How is the album selling? Where is he on the charts?"

"Mo, I don't know," replied Kanae defensively. "I didn't look into that."

If her theory was correct, Shou's appearance could be something much more serious than she'd originally thought.

_He'd said "I'm sorry."_

With a sudden realization, Kyoko covered her mouth.

"Kyoko? What are you thinking?" There was a familiar thread of worry in Kanae's voice, but Kyoko chose to ignore it.

"I'm just heading home. There's something I need to do. Talk to you later!" She hung up her phone and ran.


	2. And I gave in

**Author's Note:** Because it's not obvious to most English-speaking cultures, I wanted to explain why Kyoko doesn't call Ren by his first name. In Japanese, people generally call each other by their last name (with an honorific like "-san") unless they are close friends, family or in a relationship. Kyoko Mogami is a super polite girl who wouldn't dare offend her very special sempai Tsuruga-san, and she finds it hard to change her attitude towards him now that they are dating. Ren knows this and doesn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he usually calls her by her last name as well. Meanwhile, with Shou, Kyoko has known him since they were children, so she doesn't find it weird or rude to call him by his first name with no honorific.

Also, thank you everyone for reading my story! Please enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 2: And I gave in...**

When she knocked on his door, she was out of breath. Hoping for a moment to compose herself before he answered, she started combing her fingers through her short orange hair. She knew it wouldn't matter to him what she looked like, but she had an odd sense of pride to uphold. As his girlfriend, she felt she should look the part.

"Mogami-san!"

"Tsuruga-san," she bowed, quick in her apology. "I'm sorry for what I said last night."

It was sad that Shou's apology reminded her that she hadn't properly spoken to Tsuruga-san since their phone call the night before. She didn't want to cause problems so early in their relationship, especially over something so stupid. He'd only been trying to help, after all.

Wiping the shock off his face, and thanking his lucky stars that he was already dressed for work, Ren led her into his apartment. "Don't worry about it, Kyoko."

Her face turned bright crimson. He knew that using her first name would have this effect on her, and he used it to change the subject.

"I'm not due on the set until 1, if you would like to join me for lunch?" He gestured to the frozen dinner he was going to microwave for himself.

Though his eating habits were still lacking, Kyoko tried to remind herself that this was a significant improvement from eating nothing at all. She smiled.

"Sure."

She sat herself on his couch while he fished out a second entree from the freezer. He placed both of them in the microwave and started setting cutlery out on the table. Kyoko fidgeted on the couch, uncomfortable with not helping in some way.

Peeking her head over the back of the couch she asked, "Did you read the directions on the package?"

Ren scoffed at her. "Don't they all take the same amount of time anyway?"

Kyoko jumped to her feet. "Each product has specific instructions! If you don't pierce the film it could -"

As if on cue, there was a loud popping sound from the microwave.

"...explode."

Ren shrugged sheepishly.

Later, after Kyoko prepared them a new meal from scratch and Ren cleaned the microwave, he cautiously asked her if she'd heard anything else from Fuwa.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Kyoko exclaimed. "Could you find out how his latest album was received?"

Surprised by her enthusiasm, Ren agreed to look it up. Searching "Fuwa Shou" on his laptop, they both learned that not only was his latest album a total flop, but that he'd had to end his world tour prematurely because the stadiums weren't selling enough tickets.

"How could Moko-san have missed this?" wondered Kyoko aloud, her face much too close to the screen.

_Well, that explains who "everybody" was last night_, thought Ren.

He insisted on driving Kyoko home before he headed to work. In part, he did it because it was the gentlemanly thing to do, but another part of him wanted to make sure she went straight home. When it came to Fuwa, there was no point in sugar-coating it, Kyoko was totally blind. At first, it was because of her desire for revenge. But lately, her attitude had changed. Since she'd reconciled with her mother last summer, she'd become more calm and collected. It seemed like she wanted to make amends with everyone from her past - all at once. If she were to see Shou now, with good intentions in her heart and no hatred to protect her, Ren was sure he'd hurt her worse than before. That was just the kind of guy he was - spoiled, selfish and sadistic.

As Kyoko let herself out of the car, Ren put it in park so he could step out and lean over the roof. "Kyoko," he called, getting her attention. He wanted to warn her not to go looking for Shou. But when she turned around with a brilliant smile on her face, he lost his nerve.

"Have a great day."

"You too, R-re-re-..." Kyoko grew progressively redder as she struggled with his first name. "Ren-san!"

"Pfft!" Ren covered his mouth with his fist to conceal his laughter. _So close!_

* * *

On the few days off Kyoko had, she often helped Okami-san around the Darumaya. Usually it would be something like scrubbing the back porch or dusting the ceiling or other jobs that the aging couple found to hard to do themselves. Lately, though, Kyoko noticed that the chores were fewer and less strenuous than before. When she rolled up her sleeves and asked Okami-san for something that would take her mind off things, the landlady smiled and shook her head.

"Oh, Kyoko, we've hired a young man to do those chores. Please don't trouble yourself."

"Are you sure? I can even help out in the kitchen!"

"Dear, why don't you want to enjoy yourself on these precious days of your youth?"

With that, Kyoko was sent off into the city with a small list of (probably random) items to buy for the shop. She decided to make the best of her free time and use it as an opportunity to improve her acting skills. Lately, whenever Kyoko found herself in a crowded place, she'd carefully watch the people around her, studying their mannerisms and facial expressions and then, later that night in front of the mirror, she would test herself to see how many strangers she could reproduce. She'd gotten the idea from the President. So far, her little game had helped her act more naturally on set - and even in everyday situations. Slowly, her stiff and formal mannerisms were relaxing.

While observing a young couple buying crepes from a road-side stand, Kyoko felt a pang of guilt. The way their hands were always reaching for the other, touching shoulders, waist, wiping her cheek, flicking his forehead… They seemed so intimately connected at all times. It made her feel ashamed that she even considered herself "in a relationship". The difference between the couple in front of her and herself and Tsuruga-san was like comparing apple pie to ice cream: sure they were both desserts but while one is warm and inviting, the other is ice cold. With Tsuruga-san, she still wasn't comfortable. A lot had happened between them (they'd even kissed!) but when they went out together there was always a distance between them that her hands had never crossed. He just seemed so untouchable to her, even now. Just thinking that made her heart ache.

_Maybe it just takes practice_, she thought, stretching her fingers out in front of her. She wiggled them foolishly, trying to imagine holding Tsuruga-san's hand.

_If Setsu can do it, so can I!_ she asserted fervently. _I owe it to him to at least try._

The breeze whispered by, becoming ever cooler, and Kyoko noticed that the sun was dipping behind the skyscrapers. She had been aimlessly wandering for a while now. Her observation game had lost her interest an hour ago but she didn't feel like going home yet.

Thinking about Shou wasn't really painful to her anymore, she decided. It was like he'd done all of those horrible things to somebody else: a poor naive girl who knew nothing about love or the ways of the world. It seemed crazy to think that, until just recently, she'd believed that love was nothing but a foolish emotion! Maybe it was that sort of ignorance that led her to be hurt so badly. In her fairytale delusions, she'd convinced herself that Shou had been someone he wasn't. That was all there was to it. It was all a pathetic fantasy. There was no way that what she felt for Shou was love.

No way in hell.

_But then, if I didn't care,_ she asked herself while gazing up at the impressive hotel, _why am I here?_

No, he was nothing to her. That jerk had called her "unappealing" and "boring" to her face more times than she was willing to admit. The way he treated her, she'd started to believe him. He'd destroyed her self-esteem and it had taken years to build it back up again. Not to mention he'd used her for start-up money, ruining her high school years with fast-food jobs, and then tossed her out of his life as soon as he made a name for himself. Never once did he thank her - never mind admit to having any feelings for her. Right now, maybe he was in a low point in his career but that wasn't her concern. She knew that feeling all too well and it had been _his actions_ that had thrown her into her own pit of despair.

Kyoko turned on her heel and walked home, but not before buying some Shou's favorite Kurigo pucchin purin from the convenience store. She thought of it as a little victory over him because, to keep his cool image, he'd pretended that he didn't like sweet things and could never eat it. However, as she was about to dig in to the custard pudding, she lost both interest and her appetite for petty revenge. She threw the pudding into the garbage hard enough to knock the can over. He wasn't worth the extra calories.

* * *

The next week brought an end to her fantasy/action movie adaptation of a popular anime "The Ancient Forest". It was a story about power and greed, in which two high school students discover a magic wand. The last scene to be filmed was of the girl's confrontation with the boy who selfishly kept the wand all to himself. After molding the world to his preferences, he'd placed himself in power as "King of Earth". Kyoko played the girl, and enjoyed this scene the most.

. . .

The boy sat on a massive marble throne in the center of Tokyo, lording over his subjects with callous threats and the waving of his magic wand.

The CG would later add the mountains shaking, and an earthy growl would be added to the audio track. The people cried out in fear of something bigger and more dangerous than their self-proclaimed ruler.

Kyoko jumps from a hidden springboard and lands on her mark, crouching in front of the boy. She wears a rough and worn tunic, ripped in strategic places to "up the sex appeal" according to the costume director. Her hair is long, black and braided, though her whole look was messy, suggesting she'd been training in the woods.

"Hiyori!" the boy shouts, surprise evident in his voice. (Kyoko was always so impressed with how much expression Nobiyuki-kun could put in a single word.)

"Why, Kaito?… Why do you need so much?" Her voice is sad but angry. She lifts herself up to full height and looks down on the seated boy.

He snarls at her, gripping the wand tightly. "I have everything I need right here!" Raising the wand menacingly, he expects her to cower like they all do.

But she doesn't. Hiyori stands her ground, taller than Kaito. "Wasn't a little magic enough to make our lives special? Why couldn't you be happy with that? Why hurt innocent people?"

"Innocent? Hah," he barks. "No one is innocent! The reason this wand exists is for someone to rule over others. If it wasn't me then it would have been someone else.

"Besides, I always knew I was destined for great things, and this wand was a sign!"

"But we found it together!" Hiyori cries, begging him to see reason.

Kaito smirks. "It chose me."

At this point the camera pulls in close to Hiyori's face. The director described this moment as "Hiyori's awakening". For the first time, she sees that there is nothing left of the friend she once knew. Kaito has been so corrupted by power that he doesn't realize that what he's doing is wrong. Kyoko struggled with the face she was supposed to make - a combination of disappointment, giving up and determination - and they'd had to postpone filming this scene a few times because she hadn't grasped the emotion.

Today was different. Maybe it was because she'd been thinking about Shou. Reliving the memory of how he'd changed from a prince to an enemy - that moment when he'd shown his true colors, the humiliation that she was entangled in a one-sided love, and the icy realization that he mocked her when she wasn't around - gave her the fuel she needed for "determination".

But the "giving up" part and "disappointment"... to act that out, she needed to _care_. Without an emotional connection, this moment would be like any hero facing a nameless villain. Finally Kyoko understood what it meant: Hiyori loved Kaito. That was why this scene was so important. Giving up on someone you love breaks something inside of you. It takes so much strength to let go, when clinging to the past feels so much better. If she was honest with her feelings, Kyoko found that it was the same with Shou. With that discovery, she finally found Hiyori's face.

"Do you even know where its magic comes from?" Hiyori asks, drawing on her own inner magic she'd been training for months. A vine sprouts beneath the throne and climbs up the armrests to bind Kaito's wrists. (They used rope for the scene, but it would be replaced in the final edit with CG.)

Complete shock replaces the cockiness on Kaito's face. "How did you...?"

The vines grow tighter as Kaito struggles to break free. He shoots a wind spell at her which she narrowly avoids, though it slices the edge of her cheek.

. . .

"Cut! It's good!" shouts the director. "We'll break for five minutes so Mogami-san can get her scar make-up applied."

Kyoko rushed to her prep room and three make-up artists swarmed on her. It really was amazing how quickly they worked. It wasn't Mio's scar, but the thin cut did cover a lot of her face: starting at her left cheekbone, it travelled all the way down to the edge of her chin. Trying to sit perfectly still, Kyoko recited her lines in her head.

_. . ._

"_You think you deserve to be king? Have you ever tried to imagine what kind of life your subjects have been leading?_

"_No, you never tried! You have no idea of suffering you have caused. The only thing you were ever good at was building yourself up on the backs of others!"_

_. . ._

_I bet He had no idea how hard it was to hold down 3 jobs right out of junior high. _Kyoko added to herself. _Not that He cared to ask. _

Actually, now that she was thinking of him, she found a lot of similarities between Shou and the fictional Kaito. If only she could be more like Hiyori and call him out on his greed and selfishness. To give Shou a piece of her mind…

"Kyoko, there you are!" exclaimed Kimura-san, barging into the small room. She was holding a paper in her fist and waving it around angrily. "How many times have I warned you about going out in public on your days off?!"

The make-up artists finished up quickly and left the room. One of them patted Kyoko reassuringly on the shoulder before she hurried out.

"Um…" was all Kyoko could think to say.

Kimura-san slammed the magazine she was holding onto the counter in front of Kyoko. Her finger jabbed at a picture of her leaving a convenience store. The caption read: "Even Kyoko can't resist nighttime pudding cravings!"

Confused, Kyoko tried to make it better, "Well, at least it's nothing… scandalous… right?"

Her manager threw up her hands. "Why can't you get it through your head? You. Are. Famous. You can't just do whatever you want anymore!"

"But, Kimura-san, why does it matter if people think I like pudding?"

"It's not about the pudding! It's about being self-aware! Did you even notice the person who took this picture?"

"Well… no, but isn't it their job to stay hidden in order to get the most natural shots?"

There was a knock on the door, and the Assistant Director called "Two minutes 'til camera!"

With a sigh, Kimura-san leaned her hip against the counter and rubbed her face. Kyoko admired her style silently, especially how sophisticated the beige skirt and blazer suit made her look. Glancing back at the photo, Kyoko realized that she'd been wearing her usual jean skirt and a tank top she'd bought as a souvenir in Guam - an outfit that was a far cry from being fashionable. Compared to her manager, she looked like a little kid.

"I'm sorry if I've offended you with my careless appearance," Kyoko apologized, even getting up to bow.

Kimura held her shoulders, stopping her. There was a frown on her face that said that Kyoko had, again, missed the point. Between them, there was a fundamental misunderstanding that Kimura-san needed to clear up, but she found it hard to put it into words.

"Kyoko… I know you think that I'm fashionable…"

Kyoko nodded enthusiastically.

"But," she sighed again, "_You_ are the star here. I'm just your manager. When I tell you to be self-aware, I'm trying to look out for your well-being. It's not about the pudding or your outfit, my concern is that you are leaving yourself completely unprotected. What if that paparazzi had been a stalker? You have to be more careful."

"Oh…" The young actress hadn't expected that kind of outburst.

It had been so long since Reino from Vie Ghoul had attacked her in Karuizawa, and because it had been all Shou's fault that he'd been interested in her, she'd kind of forgotten how horrible it felt to be stalked. It was so hard to keep track of all the terrible things Shou had done to her that this offense had actually slipped her mind. No wonder she had given up on revenge, there was nothing she could do to him that would amount to the suffering he deserved. The worst part was that he didn't even know the full extent of his sins. If the JMAs had been any indication, he must be completely clueless on how his actions affect others. Just like Kaito, someone needed to put him in his place.

Seeing that Kyoko was re-thinking her actions in a new light, Kimura-san felt a little better.

"Just… let me know next time, ok?" The young actress nodded solemnly.

Kimura-san's watch told her it was showtime. The final scene of "The Ancient Forest" was one of her favorites. Having read the manga in her teenage years, she was more than excited when Kyoko was offered the part in the movie. Just to be involved was like a dream come true.

She straightened her blazer and held out her hand. "Well, Kyoko, are you ready to show the world the meaning of true strength?"

Taking her hand, Kyoko gave her a complicated smile. "More than ever."


	3. I lacked the things you need the most

**Chapter 3: I lacked the things you need the most, you said…**

Leaving LME for the evening, Kyoko debated asking Kimura-san for advice. She trusted that the older woman would keep her secret, but putting her question into words made her feel nauseous.

"Is everything alright, Kyoko?" asked her manager from the driver's seat. "After such a powerful performance I expected that you'd be more energetic."

"Kimura-san… when a guy says "I need you" what does he mean?"

The car swerved. Of all the conversation topics in the world, Kimura-san never expected Kyoko to bring up boy troubles.

Quickly regaining her composure, she replied, "It really depends on the situation and the way he says it."

_Stupid Tsuruga, way to be ambiguous and confuse poor Kyoko! You're never going to get laid like that!_

"Well, I don't really know his circumstances exactly... but he said "I need you" and then told me his hotel room number."

"Don't go." Kimura's response was immediate and final. But, seeing that Kyoko was giving her wide-eyed attention, Kimura-san figured she'd better elaborate. "Err… the way I understand it, most men use that line to… ah… _influence_ women."

Kyoko tilted her head, her face still full of patient curiosity. _How is this girl so naive? _Kimura wondered with a mix of annoyance and awe. They hadn't even been working together for a full year yet, but already she felt oddly protective of Kyoko. If the young actress ever got herself into trouble, she wouldn't hesitate to do whatever it took to come to her rescue. The young star had a nostalgic innocence that she wanted to shelter from the big bad world. It felt as if, by preserving Kyoko's pure views on life, she could somehow restore her own.

And because of that, she didn't want to be the one to corrupt the girl. "Ok, um… I would say that men in general say such things to make women feel… appreciated. But - and this is the important part - some men use that feeling of appreciation to get... things they shouldn't have… Do you understand?"

Kyoko fell silent, a black cloud forming and crackling above her head.

_Appreciated? Isn't it a little late for that?_

She turned to face the window. The setting sun's reflection off glass-windowed buildings cast an orange glow across her face. She slid hands over eyes to block out the glare.

Misreading her charge's attitude, Kimura-san continued, "Kyoko, I know you're dating now, but if any man says "I need you" right as you are about to leave his place, Do Not listen to him!"

Kyoko snapped out of her daze. "Huh? Even if it's Tsuruga-san?"

"Especially Tsuruga-san!"

"Why?"

"Just trust me on this."

_Sorry Tsuruga, but I'm not going to make deflowering the princess easy!_

Pulling up to the Darumaya, Kimura noticed that Kyoko was still deep in thought. To get her attention, she mussed Kyoko's hair. "Don't worry so much about it. I'm sure you'll understand what he meant soon enough."

"Yeah," Kyoko sighed, getting out of the car. "I guess I will."

Her unhappy response made Kimura frown as she drove away. _Maybe it hadn't been Tsuruga-san afterall._

Shou didn't call her again. Every time she looked at her phone, Kyoko felt her heart speed up. For the whole next week, every call made her jump. The tension was getting to her. Leaving things with him unresolved bothered her, like a loose thread that she couldn't help but pick at.

* * *

Kanae was waiting outside the President's office impatiently. There were still a few minutes before their meeting, and now that she was there, she worried that maybe she was overreacting.

_Why am I taking time out of my busy schedule for this?! I should be preparing for my shoot this afternoon, not playing Mother Hen to my oblivious friend!_

_Best friend, _she corrected, biting her finger nervously.

Since the JMAs, even the mention of Shou's name put Kanae in a rage. The way he'd so casually stomped all over Kyoko's career made her blood boil. This time she wouldn't ignore the bad feeling he gave her, and maybe she could derail whatever plan he had before it even started.

Unbidden, her mind played back the news clip that had nearly destroyed Kyoko's reputation.

_Fuwa Shou stepped out of his limo. Black boots heavy with chains and buckles emerged first, promising an aggressive outfit was to follow. More black and silver continued up his long legs, and it looked like he was wearing dark pants covered in buckles. But then the camera angle shifted and it became obvious that there were no pants at all - his legs were wrapped only in black straps from ankle to groin. The top was made of black and gold snakeskin fabric, a t-shirt connected to long fingerless gloves of the same material by more straps and buckles. His hair was spiked all over, shockingly blonde except for a streak of black near his left eye. As usual, Fuwa Shou's V-kei was nose-bleed worthy, and his confident smile said he knew it._

_After the crowd of reporters had asked him the usual questions about his outfit, the interview took a personal turn. One of the reporters from Boots magazine, a blonde, asked him about his date for the night. Shou answered smoothly with a line about belonging to all women that he couldn't pick just one. While the other newscasters ate it up, the Boots reporter seemed to have an ulterior motive._

_"What about Kyoko? I heard that you two were close."_

_"Who?" Shou asked, a bit too forcefully._

_Because he seemed to know something juicy, the other paparazzi moved to give the blonde more room._

_"The actress who played one of the angels in your PV for 'Prisoner'," he continued, "She also played 'Natsu' on the hit drama 'BoxR'."_

_More reporters gathered around him upon hearing that, microphones multiplying in front of him like mushrooms after the rain; all of them asking, "What about Kyoko?"  
_

Kanae hated how Fuwa's cool image faltered for a moment, briefly revealing a guilty, panicked expression, because it made his words sting all the more. He knew what he was doing - and he didn't care.

_"Like I would care about a boring girl like her," he scoffed. "Besides, she was horrible to work with. Haven't you noticed that all of her roles are exactly the same? It's not even acting for her, she's just naturally a scary, hateful person!"_

"Ahem." The President's assistant, Sebastian, cleared his throat to get Kanae's attention. She blinked herself back to reality and gave him a smile that said she was listening. "The President will see you now."

"Thank you."

Walking into the President's office, Kanae admired his art collection that graced the walls. It gave the room an international flavor that fit so well with his ever-changing image. Today's image was bad, Kanae realized as soon as she spotted the man in question, but sadly it wasn't the worst outfit she'd seen him in.

President Lory Takarada was doing push-ups in the parlor, his dark curly hair held out of his face by a neon green sweatband.

"Ah, Kotonami-san!" he called, jumping to his sneakered feet. The brightness of his two-piece track suit nearly blinded the actress. That much neon should not be allowed to exist in the same room all at once. "Please have a seat. Would you like some tea?"

Kanae politely declined. They sat across from each other, but his outfit gave Kanae a hard time trying to keep eye contact.

"Now about your concerns, I feel like Kimura-san would be better suited to-"

"Forgive me, President," Kanae interrupted, "But I think we'll need someone with more connections for this to be effective."

"We're talking about Queen Record's Fuwa Shou, right?" Lory asked with a serious tone. Kanae nodded. "I know that he's caused Kyoko troubles in the past, but other than a restraining order, there really isn't anything we can do to keep him away."

A slight twitch of her brow was the only indication that Kanae was annoyed. She was a good enough actress to keep her emotions in check, especially when talking to her boss. But unfortunately for her, the President had a sixth sense for matters relating to love.

"Listen, Kotonami-san." Lory clasped his hand and moved as close as he could to Kanae. His face emitted a sincere fatherly aura that kind of pissed her off. "I can tell how much you care for Mogami-san. I know you are worried for her safety, but this is something that she has to get through in order to grow."

Kanae opened her mouth to disagree, but Lory shook his head to stop her.

"From the first day I met her, I could tell that Mogami-san had endured something terrible. She found it impossible to love and accept love from others, a concept that deeply troubled me. Over her time in the LoveME section, she found a way to acknowledge her own self-worth and last year she made amazing progress all on her own, when she finally reconciled with her mother. With her new-found perspective on love, I think she's finally ready for the last step in her LoveME training."

"And what is that?" Kanae asked abrasively. _Letting Shou toy with her emotions a second time?  
_

"She needs to forgive the one that broke her trust in love."

* * *

Shou lay on the carpeted floor of his hotel room, staring up at the ceiling. He'd been in Japan for eight days already, but had only left the hotel twice. Room service delivered his meals and his company credit card paid the bills. His manager Shouko stopped by a few times early on, but he'd pulled the chain across the door so she couldn't barge in. She'd yelled at him through the crack between the door and its frame about being professional and taking responsibility, but her rants washed right over him without effect. His phone was on, but he screened his calls and messages, not answering any of them. There was only one person he wanted to talk to, someone who always knew exactly what he wanted to hear.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his lethargy.

"Room Service."

He slowly got to his feet and, after checking the peephole, he removed the chain and opened the door. "You're late."

The employee flinched. Her black bangs covered her eyes and she was a little taller and younger than the last server they'd sent up, but she was otherwise unremarkable. Shou gave her a questioning glare when she didn't move from the doorway. "What the hell? Are you going to bring it in or are you going to make me do it?"

Straightening her shoulders, the hotel employee seemed to come to her senses. "My apologies, Fuwa-sama! Please excuse my rudeness!" she said, quickly rolling the cart with his food into the room.

Shou sighed. _So much for my alias._ Apparently the staff at the hotel had finally figured out who he was. That explained her oddly stiff and formal behavior. As much as he used to find it annoying to deal with star-struck women, his isolation made him realize how much he missed it. The more nervous they are, the more fun it was to play with them...

The woman paused in the center of his suite, clearly unsure of what to do next.

"The table is over there," he pointed to the corner of the room next to the window. Obediently, she rolled the cart over and started unloading its contents, her movements quick and graceful.

When he closed the door and meandered over, ready to do some shameless teasing, she lifted her head and smiled at him. It was a warming smile that caught him completely by surprise. Having expected her to be flustered and embarrassed, Shou had no idea how to react. She took his silence as a signal and motioned to the table saying, "Today's special is curry with pork and seasonal vegetables and a green bean and fennel salad on the side. Please enjoy."

As the woman bowed and moved to leave the room, Shou had a strange impulse to keep her a little longer.

"Wait!"

Her hand let go of the doorknob and she turned to face him. "Yes, Fuwa-sama?"

Suddenly he had no idea what he was doing. This girl was just an employee doing her job. The smile she was giving him was only a professional courtesy. Was the loneliness of this week getting to him so much that he was imagining a connection with the hotel staff? Did he just need someone to talk to, after all?

"Ah," he hesitated, scratching his blonde hair shyly, "Thanks for the food. It smells really good."

Another pleasant smile graced her lips and her amber eyes filled with tenderness. "You're very welcome, Fuwa-sama."

"And…" he said to her back as she turned to leave again. "Could you keep my name a secret from the rest of the staff?"

"Of course," she replied, pausing in the open door. "Good night, sir."

When Shou sat down to eat, he noticed an extra dish on the table that the woman hadn't described. _She seemed new, _he considered,_ maybe she made a mistake._ As he lifted the lid of the dish, his eyes bugged out in recognition of the familiar coloring of Kurigo pucchin pudding. With explosive speed he wrenched the door open, looking both up and down the hall for the woman, but she was gone.

Sitting back down at the table, Shou's head was spinning. Why would a high class hotel serve convenience store products? And, more importantly, only one person knew about his weakness for custard. Reaching for the pudding he muttered a quick "itadakimasu" before devouring its contents.

_Kyoko… what are you doing?_

* * *

"Kyoko, what are you doing?!" she whispered to herself as she stripped out of the borrowed hotel uniform.

Despite promising everyone that she would stay away from Shou, Kyoko's curiosity had gotten the best of her. A week of wondering why he'd called and if it had anything to do with his poor record sales and the cancellation of his world tour or whether he was calling to invite her to yet another awards show where he could publicly humiliate her or maybe something happened back home at the ryokan and his parents were dying and they needed her kidneys or… Seriously, her imagination was running wild with possibilities. But still, she had promised not to meet with him and asking him over the phone seemed just as insincere. So Kyoko had come up with a plan.

_As long as it's not Me visiting him,_ Kyoko reasoned, _it should be fine if I just happen to see him._

After school she'd taken a taxi to the Tokyo Palace Hotel, with her Hiyori wig and some makeup in her bag. Walking in like she was supposed to be there, she found the staff laundry room and borrowed a uniform and assembled her disguise. Everything else had fallen into place so naturally that she'd hardly had time to marvel at what she was doing.

_To think that I put that much effort into spying on Shou!?_ Kyoko hung her head in disgust. All she'd learned from this excursion was that she was an idiot for worrying about that bastard. Though there had been a moment when he'd almost seemed like a normal person… She recalled his bashful smile when he'd thanked her for the food and couldn't deny that it had been cute.

_But a simple "thank you" shouldn't be a big deal! That is supposed to be common courtesy! Get it together Kyoko!_

_Next time, I'll definitely give him a piece of my mind._

Having changed and gathered her belongings, Kyoko flagged down a taxi. Inside the car she turned her phone back on, only to have it start ringing in her hands.

* * *

It was nearly 10:00 pm when Shou finally got the nerve to pick up the phone. Lying around the hotel room all day, waiting for something to change had finally gotten on his nerves. If things were going to go badly at work, well, then he'd just have to face the consequences. It was his fault that the world tour had been such a failure. He'd put his career on the line for his already over-sized ego. The plan had been to crush Kyoko once and for all. It was ironic that, after having destroyed himself, the only person he wanted to see was her. And, even in disguise, she'd managed to encourage him in all the ways he needed her to. That pudding felt like a message, saying "gambatte!" (do your best!). And, after pacing around the hotel room a few times, looking at the phone, sitting down, picking it up, putting it down, and pacing again, he'd finally gathered enough courage to press "send".

"Shou, the President of Queen Records would like to see you."

"I know."

Shouko picked Shou up for what would be the last time. Her tight blouse stretched across her chest couldn't even divert Shou's attention from the dread that was swirling in his stomach. It was late, and the sky had already turned black. They didn't talk on the ride over; two people alone in the darkness of their own imaginations.

All he could remember was sitting in an uncomfortable brown chair, trying to sort out his shoulders, while Shouko beside him begged the President for another chance.

"He has lots of material that he keeps on stand-by! Just give us a few months and we'll have another album ready to go platinum!"

The President, an old man with a strong sense of loyalty, shook his head stubbornly. "It's too late for these assurances, isn't it? We at Queen Records have stretched ourselves thin trying to make this blasted world tour a success. And how did he repay our efforts? He quit half-way and went into hiding because his feelings got hurt! I can't support this prima donna bullshit going on in my company. As I see it, the moment he didn't show up on stage was his letter of resignation.

"We have nothing further to discuss, Fuwa." The President got up and gestured to the door.

His legs felt like rubber as he got to his feet. The room was spinning and his ears were ringing. How he made it to the door, he couldn't say. There was one last thing he remembered, and it stung more than he expected it to - the moment when he knew he was truly on his own -

"Shouko, please come in on Monday for your reassignment."

* * *

**A/N: Wow, lots happened in this chapter... you've heard what Shou did at the Japan Music Awards (JMAs) and what's been going on in his life lately (he just got fired?!), and Kyoko finally visited him (in disguise, but it still counts). The next chapter gets crazy dramatic! Be excited! **

**XD**


	4. Where have you been?

**Author's note: So I was reading the la****test chapter discussions on mangafox and I realized that I messed up Shou's company in this story (and probably all of my stories). Apparently he works for the Akatoki talent agency, not Queen Records... I am so sorry for my ignorance. **

* * *

**Chapter 4: Where have you been?**

Kyoko's phone started ringing as soon as she turned it back on. The call display told her it was Tsuruga-san; but after going against his wishes only a few minutes ago, she felt uneasy about taking the call.

"Hello?" she answered cautiously.

"Kyoko!" Ren shouted, clearly upset. "Are you alright?!"

"Umm, Tsuruga-san, I'm fine…"

He didn't give her time to finish, "Where have you been? Why did you turn off your phone? I've been trying to contact you for over an hour!"

"Huh? Why? We didn't have plans tonight," Kyoko said in confusion. The depth of his worry caught her off-guard. There was no way he could already know she'd visited Shou… So why was he so concerned?

"..." the line went silent for a moment.

Today, Ren had finished filming early and, with Yashiro-san's assurances, he knew that Kyoko had nothing scheduled after school. He'd figured it would be the perfect opportunity to surprise her with a special date for their one-month anniversary. But when he'd tried to call her, he was met with an automated message. Knowing how rare it was for her to turn off her phone, he couldn't help but worry. He'd called her manager, who assured him that she was picked up by the company car after school. So he drove down to the Darumaya, holding on to the hope that he was just being an overprotective boyfriend, but the Okami-san told him that Kyoko hadn't returned yet. He'd even called Kanae and the President, in hopes that she was off on a secret LoveME assignment. Finally, when it was clear that she was missing, he couldn't help but fear the worst: Shou.

Whether she went to him or if he kidnapped her didn't matter. If they were together… Ren couldn't control his jealous anger anymore.

"Do I need a reason to call my girlfriend?" he asked lightly, his voice sparkling with gentlemanly charm.

_He's angry!_ Kyoko panicked. She hastily came up with an excuse that didn't involve Shou.

"Of course not, R-ren. I'm sorry I made you worry! I decided to go shopping after school because there was like this dress that I really liked… but the store had like a "no cell phone" policy so I had to like turn mine off or something…"

They were both professional actors, so Ren was quick to pick up on the change in her tone. The bubbly inflection was probably something she picked up from a high school soap opera. Plus, she'd used his first name, almost as if she were trying to placate him.

"Oh, is that so?" he said, his voice ever so sparkly. "And what is the name of this shop?"

"Tee hee, I'm like not too sure, Ren! I've been to like 10 shops already, so I've totally lost track of which one's which."

"So did you buy it?"

Kyoko faltered at his question. "Buy what?"

"The dress you liked? Maybe you could show it to me tonight after you get home?"

"Uh…" Kyoko was floundering. She hated lying to Tsuruga-san and she had no idea where to buy cute dresses or what kind of stores wouldn't allow cell phones. However, she had no intention of telling Tsuruga-san the truth. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't a big deal. As long as she bought a dress on the way home, he wouldn't need to find out. "S-sure, Ren, sounds good! I'll be home in about an hour. Can you pick me up then?"

"Of course." Ren's voice deepened. "Don't keep me waiting."

* * *

Hanging up the phone, she told the taxi driver to take her to some nice dress shops. He looked back at her skeptically, asking if she could be more specific. When she didn't give a clear answer he just drove around randomly, looking for a shop with a dress in the window.

Kyoko was trying to stay calm, but she couldn't ignore the feeling that she was getting herself into a huge fight with Tsuruga-san. The problem was that she didn't understand how things had gotten so complicated. Now that they were dating, it felt like she had no privacy. It annoyed her that she needed to explain to him every little thing that she did, but at the same time she felt guilty that she'd gone behind his back and lied to him about it.

The taxi stopped in front of a normal-looking shop in a normal-looking commercial area. It wasn't the high end fashion that she'd been hoping for, but at this point it didn't really matter. All she need was a dress. She paid the fare and asked the driver to wait for her to return. He smiled but sped off as soon as she closed the door.

Inside the shop, there was only one middle-aged man standing behind the counter. He welcomed her with a smile that was a bit lopsided but Kyoko figured it was sincere. The small store was crowded with mainly black and red dresses and tops, all of which could easily be imagined in Setsuka Heel's wardrobe. It was edgy and risque and there was no way she could buy anything from here as Kyoko without being totally embarrassed.

"Are you looking for something in particular?" asked the shopkeeper, stepping out from behind the counter to help her. He was surprisingly short and his black hair was greying above his ears.

Kyoko sighed. She didn't have time to be choosy. "Yes, a dress."

The man nodded and started making his way toward a strappy red leather item that might somehow be loosely considered a "dress".

"Ah, sorry, but… is there anything a little less…"

Sensing her discomfort, the man nodded again and started pawing through a rack on the other side of the store. Kyoko fidgeted uncomfortably, not sure if she should follow him or not.

"Miss?" he called, waving her over. Thankfully he'd found the one dress in the whole store that didn't make her blush instinctively. It was a rather plain two-piece dress, where the bottom layer was a white slip dress and the over-layer was entirely black lace that cinched the waist and emphasized the bust. "Once you find your size, you can try it on in the change room," he said, pointing to a door on the back wall of the store.

"Thank you very much!" Kyoko quickly grabbed the dress and headed to the back.

Closing the door of the middle stall behind her, she stripped off her school uniform. The dress was a little more complicated than she'd expected, because the two layers didn't want to line up. Not knowing how or if she could separate the two pieces before putting it on, she fiddled with it for a moment in her underwear. As she struggled to undo the shoulder clasp in front of the mirror, she caught a glint of reflected light out of the corner of her eye.

_Click. _

Kyoko's blood froze at the sound of a camera's shutter. Plastering the dress against the front of her body, she used the mirror to inspect the change room behind her. All she could see was the frightened orange-haired girl of her reflection, her pale skin emphasized by the harsh overhead lighting. She tried to tell herself that she was imagining things, but she was too scared to turn around. After a few seconds of holding her breath and straining her ears, the silence convinced her that the noise had been a stress-induced hallucination. She slipped into and out of the dress quickly, hardly even caring if it looked good. Reaching for her school uniform, she received another shock.

_My blouse…_ Kyoko panicked. _Where is it? _

Shifting her skirt and jacket around, thinking that maybe it was just underneath, her heart started racing. Her eyes darted around the stall, checking the hooks on the wall even though she knew she hadn't hung it up. She even looked under the dividing wall into the next change room, but there was nothing. Her shirt and bow tie were missing. She felt like she was going to throw up.

_This can't be happening..._

Hastily putting on her skirt and jacket, which she buttoned all the way up to her collarbone, she exited her stall and inspected the area. There was no one around. Her head was on a swivel, looking back and forth and checking behind her, in constant fear of being photographed or attacked. When she tried to open the other stalls, the one to the left was locked. Peeking under the door, she didn't see any feet on the ground. Still, she banged on the door with her fist.

"Excuse me, is anyone in there?!" she shouted in a squeaky voice.

No one answered. Her ears were buzzing and her body was shaking with shock and fear. She banged on the door a little harder. "Excuse me? Have you seen my blouse?"

Tears collected in the corner of her eyes while she continued to pound on the door with all her strength. To be photographed like that… she was still in high school… Her fist-falls got softer as she pressed her forehead against the change room door, cringing as she cried. No one, not even Ren, had seen her like that before.

"Miss?" called the shopkeeper as he walked over from the counter. When he saw her huddled against the door, he rushed over. "Are you alright? What happened?"

Kyoko tried to catch her breath enough to speak, but she didn't know what to say. If someone had really been peeping on her, she couldn't prove anything. The chance that some pervert had her blouse and inappropriate pictures of her made her angry, and the fact that that person might get away with it made her angrier. The only hope she had was that the pervert was still locked inside the change room.

Grudge demons exploded around Kyoko. She stepped back from the stall, aiming her foot for a heavy kick to the dead center of the door. If she could just get in... that kind of depraved scum needed to be punished.

"Hey, what're you doing?!" the shopkeeper cried, grabbing Kyoko under the armpits to stop her. "You can't just kick my doors in!"

"Don't touch me!" screamed Kyoko, jumping out of his grasp. Being in Grudge Mode didn't change the fact that she was still in shock.

"Ah, look at the damage you've done already!" he lamented, his hand running over the dented surface of the change room door. "You're going to have to pay for this!"

"B-but!" Kyoko stuttered, frantically trying to explain, "He… or s-she, I guess… perverted, you know? My b-blouse…"

"Who?" the shopkeeper demanded. "You're the only one back here!"

"No, but…" Kyoko pointed to the locked stall with her shaking hand, trying to get the shopkeeper to understand. Someone _had _to be in there. The doors were the kind that only locked from the inside. The pervert was probably crouching on the bench inside so their feet didn't show.

The shopkeeper didn't believe her. "Come with me to the front desk and I'll sort out how much you owe for the damages," he said, turning to walk back to the counter.

Taking her chance, Kyoko leapt at the change room, grabbing the top of the door and started lifting her body over the top. The shopkeeper spun around and quickly grabbed Kyoko around the waist, pulling her down.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" he shouted as she struggled against him, still trying to climb the door. "That's it, I'm calling the police!"

_Finally,_ Kyoko sighed, relaxing a little as the shopkeeper dragged her over to the front desk. However, she quickly realized that she'd misunderstood.

"You can't call the police on _me_! I'm the victim here!"

"The only victim I see is my door," the shopkeeper muttered as he picked up the phone.

Kyoko grabbed his hand to stop him. This was shaping up to be a really bad day, but if she got arrested, it would surely be the worst day of her life. "Don't call the police. I'm fine now, see?" she said, giving him a calm smile. "I'll pay for the damages, I swear."

The man wouldn't let her off the hook so easily, so Kyoko gave Kimura-san's name and number. When she arrived, she immediately noticed Kyoko's missing blouse and bow tie, as well as her red-rimmed eyes. The matter of the damages was dealt with swiftly and Kimura-san made sure to inspect the change rooms both inside and out before paying up. They didn't find Kyoko's blouse nor the person who might have stolen it.

Kimura-san made sure Kyoko bowed and apologized, and they left the shop. In the end, Kyoko didn't even buy the dress she came for.

* * *

Once they were in Kimura-san's car, she turned her soft brown eyes to Kyoko and asked, "So what really happened back there?"

With a wave of shame, the entire night played back in her mind. How could she admit to her manager, whom she'd just promised she'd be more careful and self-aware in public, that she had visited a boy in a hotel, might have been photographed in her underwear and had been nearly arrested? Tears of guilt welled up in her eyes and all she could say was "I'm sorry" over and over.

Kimura drove her home to the Darumaya. There was nothing she could say that would stop her charge from crying and she couldn't get any more information out of her. The fact that Kyoko wouldn't even tell her worried Kimura the most.

Tsuruga-san's Porsche was parked in front of Kyoko's place. Seeing it, Kyoko froze, her face twisted in wide-eyed horror.

"Hey, Mogami-san." Grabbing her shoulders, Kimura shook the younger woman. "Breathe, Kyoko! You're alright now. I'm here and Tsuruga-san is just inside. You'll be okay!"

But Kyoko refused to move at all. Seeing the Porsche reminded her that she'd begged Tsuruga-san to take her out for a long drive some time soon and that he'd promised to take her on their one-month anniversary. Their anniversary was tomorrow. Was that why he'd been so upset; had he been trying to surprise her?

_Is he going to break up with me?_ She'd steeled herself for the inevitable fight they were going to have, but she'd never considered that she might have done something unforgivable.

Kimura helped Kyoko out of the car. With an arm across her shoulders, she steadied the trembling teen as they walked into the shop. Ren, Taisho and Okami-san were waiting in the living room, but Kyoko begged Kimura to bring her straight to her room. When she came back down, Ren was waiting at the foot of the stairs.

"What happened?" he questioned, his voice tense. His mood had been teetering between anger and worry all night and, after getting a glimpse of Kyoko's puffy eyes, worry won him over.

Kimura shook her head, motioning to the front door. She slipped her feet into her black stilettos, buying herself some time to come up with an appropriate answer.

"I don't know," she said as they walked outside. "As soon as I picked her up she started crying and wouldn't stop."

The cool spring air nipped at their cheeks. Kimura shoved her cold fingers deep into the pockets of her white pea-coat. She'd promised Kyoko that she wouldn't tell Ren where they had been and what had happened in the dress shop even though she believed he deserved to hear the truth.

"Where was she?" Ren asked lightly, afraid of what the answer could be.

Again, Kimura shook her head. "I'm sorry, but that's something you'll have to ask Mogami-san."

Ren stared at her in disbelief. "I'm her boyfriend. You mean you aren't going to tell me?"

"Good night, Tsuruga-san." Reluctantly, Kimura turned away.

"Touko," he called to her retreating back, "Was it Fuwa?" His voice was brittle, as if the wrong answer would cause him to fall to pieces.

Walking to her car, Kimura ignored his question and forced herself to stare straight ahead. If she looked back, she was sure that the number one heart-throb in Japan would be giving her the saddest puppy dog eyes ever, and that her resolve would crumble and she'd tell him everything.

_Just go home, Tsuruga,_ she prayed. _There's nothing we can do tonight._

* * *

The next day, Kimura-san called the President to report what had happened. Cancelling all of her appointments that day, Kimura brought Kyoko to LME for an emergency meeting. The actress still hadn't said a word about what had happened the night before, but Kimura knew enough to put the pieces together. It was just as she'd feared, Kyoko was too unaware of her fame when she was out in public; and this time she'd paid dearly for it.

"Mogami-san, Kimura-san, please be seated," said the President, motioning to the couch. "We are just waiting for a few more before the meeting can start."

"Huh?" Kyoko piped up. "Who else is…"

Just then, Ren barged into the room, followed closely by Kanae. The tension of the office went up at least twenty notches. Yashiro-san entered quietly behind, shutting the door with care.

"Kyoko!" cried Kanae, rushing to her best friend's side. "Are you alright? I heard from the President that something happened to you last night."

Shooting an angry glance at Kimura-san, Kyoko nodded stiffly.

"Mogami-san," the President soothed. "It's fine if you don't feel like talking just yet. From what Kimura-san tells me, you ran into some trouble with a stalker, isn't that right?"

Kyoko nodded, feeling that it was okay for the others to know that much, at least.

Both Kanae and Yashiro-san immediately expressed their condolences with sad faces, but Tsuruga-san crossed his arms and looked away.

"The reason I called everyone here today," the President continued, giving Kyoko his full attention, "Is because all of these people care about you. We are all worried that your current living arrangements aren't sufficient to keep you out of harm's way."

"Wait a minute," Kyoko interrupted. "What happened last night had nothing to do with the Darumaya."

Kimura-san patted Kyoko's hand reassuringly. "Mogami-san… we're just trying to look out for you."

Even Yashiro cut in. "The shop you live in is a restaurant, Kyoko-chan, so anyone can come and go as they please. As much as you enjoy living there, you must be able to see that it isn't very safe. There are many private buildings that have their own security force, you know. Ren's building is like that. I think it would be helpful to be sure that, even if someone followed you home, they wouldn't be able to get inside. Right?"

Everyone nodded. Kyoko just stared at them in disbelief. "Does this mean that all of you came here today to convince me to move?" When their faces answered for them, that familiar annoyance bubbled to the surface again. "Why does this feel like an intervention?"

"That's because it is," answered Kimura-san. Adjusting her blazer as she shifted on the couch to better face her charge. "I can see that it hasn't been easy for you to come to terms with being such a popular icon. It makes me feel anxious every time you go out on your own because I know that there are bad people in the world who will want to hurt you."

"Kimura-san, I think you're being a little overdramatic..."

"No. Mogami-san, I'm not. That kind of attitude that will get you kidnapped or raped. I know because it happened to me."

The room fell silent. Kyoko was shocked because her manager had never spoken about her past before. With that heavy burden, all of a sudden Kimura-san's warnings and actions made a little more sense.

"I'm not telling you this to get your sympathy, I am merely stating a fact. There are people like that in the world, and if you go about your life pretending they don't exist, you will become their perfect victim."

No one knew what to say after that. There was no way Kyoko could disagree anymore. Ren coughed loudly to break the atmosphere. Kyoko looked up at him for the first time since the meeting had started. He offered her a small, reassuring smile that made her heart jump in her chest. It meant a lot to her that he still cared enough to do that.

"President, I agree that Mogami-san should move out of the Darumaya, but finding suitable accommodations will take at least a few weeks. Like Yashiro said, my building has excellent security. So, in the meantime, I have a spare bedroom…"

"Absolutely not." said the President and Kimura-san at once. Kanae and Yashiro chose to stay out of it.

"But, we just agreed that it wasn't safe…"

"Ren, she's still underage. We can't tarnish her reputation just because she ran into a little trouble. Am I right, Mogami-san?" he said with a wink. "No, I think the safest bet is to get Mogami-san a hotel room for the time being. I think we can leave the selection of the hotel to her manager."

Kimura-san nodded once.

"Yashiro-san," he turned his attention to Tsuruga-san's manager, "If you could pass on any information about high security apartment complexes to Kimura-san, I'm sure it wouldn't take much time at all to get Mogami-san settled in a place that she can afford."

"Of course, President."

"Alright. Now if everyone is satisfied," he said, pausing for a moment in case anyone had something else to say. Kyoko fidgeted but remained silent. "Meeting adjourned."

Still curious about what happened the night before, Kanae attached herself to Kyoko's right arm. "We're going for coffee." Ren shot her an angry glare, frustrated that she'd gotten to Kyoko first.

Their power play didn't go unnoticed by Kyoko but, because she still didn't feel ready to talk to Ren, she ignored it.

Kimura and Yashiro had begun discussing the pros and cons of renting compared to condo ownership, leaving Ren to tag along behind them sullenly.

* * *

By the end of the day, Kyoko had packed up all of her belongings and waved goodbye to the elderly couple of the Darumaya. It was amazing that everything she owned in the entire world managed to fit neatly in Kimura-san's compact sedan.

"So where am I going to live?" Kyoko asked, still pouting a little for being forced out of her own home.

"The Tokyo Palace Hotel!" said Kimura-san cheerfully, taking pride in her selection. "I bet you're surprised!"

"Yeah… That's… great."


	5. You wasted all that sweetness

**Author's Note: So I know this chapter took forever. Funny story: I was so excited to write it back in... I don't know, October?... that I actually wrote it on my phone (at work) and emailed it to myself. However, the quality of it was so bad that it was a nightmare to edit. I am never doing that again...**

* * *

**Chapter 5: You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide**

_"So where am I going to live?" Kyoko asked, still pouting a little for being forced out of her own home._

_"The Tokyo Palace Hotel!" said Kimura-san cheerfully, taking pride in her selection. "I bet you're surprised!"_

_"Yeah… That's… great."_

* * *

Apparently Kimura-san knew the manager of security at the Palace, and she'd gotten reassurances that they know how to protect celebrities. Normally, that kind of high-end hotel would be well outside of Kyoko's price range, but the President insisted that it would be considered a business expense and charged the room to LME. Everything was decided before they'd even told Kyoko where she was going to live, so there was no chance to protest the location. Even the room number wasn't up for debate. Kyoko couldn't believe her bad luck when they'd told her she was in room 205, literally next door to Shou.

Kyoko insisted that they could fit everything onto the luggage trolley in one load, because she didn't want too much back-and-forth in the hallway to pique Shou's interest. As it was, she hadn't seen any sign of Bastard #1, which was exactly how she wanted it to stay. Kimura-san left her around 4:00 pm to unpack her things on her own and get settled in.

Having just finished placing her clothes in the closet, she spun around to inspect her new room. The bedroom was larger than the one she'd had at the Darumaya, with a queen-sized western-style bed, a table and two chairs next to the large window and a dresser across from the bed with a TV on top of it. She found it hard to imagine why you'd need a TV in a bedroom, but it definitely made it feel luxurious. The bathroom was just off the bedroom, and the wall between the tub and bedroom was made of glass, which the young woman found a bit awkward but it did help make the bathroom seem bigger. The toilet was in its own room, thankfully. The place was decorated in soft greys and muted greens, giving it a modern atmosphere. For all she needed it for - sleeping, bathing, changing clothes - the room would suffice.

The day had passed as strangely as it could have, starting with that pseudo-intervention, then packing and finally moving in. Her acting work had been rescheduled by Kimura-san without warning, which left Kyoko feeling off-balance. It didn't help that, technically, today was her and Tsuruga-san's one-month anniversary. She figured that it had probably slipped his mind by now. As an adult, he probably didn't feel the need to celebrate every little milestone in a relationship. She, on the other hand, had been looking forward to it. She'd planned out the entire day, from how she'd take extra care with her skin in the morning, to "accidentally" bumping into Yashiro-san and Tsuruga-san around lunch time, to the drive Tsuruga-san had promised her. And of course, his present! What she hadn't expected was to be led along by her manager all day, packing and saying goodbye and feeling weird.

Kyoko flopped down on the bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what Tsuruga-san was doing right now. With a twinge of anxiety she realized that, if they hadn't been fighting, they would have already left on their drive. He'd promised to take her to the coast so they could watch the sun set over the water. She'd offered to pack them a picnic supper, but he'd refused her, saying he had something special prepared. It didn't seem likely that they'd make any dinner reservation now, and he hadn't even called to ask her about it.

Guilt squeezed her heart.

I guess I'll order some room service, she figured, pouting a little. How romantic.

Her half-hearted sarcasm did little to help her mood, because it only reminded her that it was her fault that things ended up this way. If she hadn't lied to Tsuruga-san, and then avoided him because she was afraid of fighting, they would certainly be out on a wonderful date right now.

But what could she say? Admitting that she'd been spying on Shou would only hurt Tsuruga-san more, and would make him doubt their relationship. For some reason, he found it hard to understand that she didn't have romantic feelings for Shoutaro. Trying to explain that she'd only been worried about that idiot would sound too much like making excuses.

The best she could do would be to gloss over the subject of where she'd been when her phone was turned off and focus on the incident at the dress shop. Being photographed in that way, as hard as it would be for her to tell Ren, would certainly distract him from Shou. Though it had been mortifying, everything that had happened at the shop had been beyond her control. And, hearing what she'd gone through, there was no way that Tsuruga-san wouldn't want to hold her tight and comfort her. Thinking over his potential reactions, wanted so badly for him to tell her that everything was going to be alright because he would be there to protect her. Crawling her fingers across the bed, she imagined him laying beside her and wished that she could hold his hand.

* * *

The ceiling fan was making its 600th slow rotation above Ren's head. As pathetic as it was for a 22 year-old to get excited about a one-month anniversary, Ren had taken the entire day off in anticipation. Now that he wasn't sure where they stood, he was waiting for Kyoko to make the first move. It wasn't that he was being petty, although he kind of was, he just didn't want to back Kyoko into a corner. She hadn't explained to him why she'd been out after school, where she'd been or what had happened with the supposed "stalker". He was sure that if he pressed her for answers, all he'd get would be more lies. (He didn't buy her shopping excuse in the least.) But, the fact that she could lie to him and then ignore their anniversary bothered him a lot.

When he'd confessed his love to her a month ago, he'd laid everything out on the table: his real name, the blood that stained his hands and the reason he'd been incapable of searching out love, as well as the conflicting feelings he'd had for her since the filming of Dark Moon. That kind of extreme honesty had not been easy to share, but he'd felt it was necessary to face the Kyoko-chan from his childhood properly, openly. In the situation they were in now, it was hard not to feel cheated; when he'd bared himself completely to her, though he hadn't actually asked her to, he expected her to do the same. To him, these small secrets felt like massive betrayals.

But, he was - their relationship was - stronger than that. Though they might eventually fight about this issue, it wasn't something insurmountable. Really, he figured anything that a normal couple would fight and break up about would be nothing compared to what they've already gone through together. To make him stop loving Kyoko would require something so terrible, so completely unimaginable, it actually scared him. That's how devoted he was to her. Their relationship was like whole new and excitingly wonderful realm of love. Knowing that she accepted everything about him, all his darkness and faults, freed him from his past as if he'd been waiting for someone's permission to enjoy life. And that spirited, fairy-tale loving young woman had given it with her soft pink lips.

Raking the fingers of his right hand through his dark brown hair, his left reached for his phone on the bedside table. Checking it for the upteenth time that night, he was met with a blank screen: no new messages. Tossing the device on the bed, he curled up beside it.

Don't keep me waiting, Kyoko, he pleaded silently.

* * *

Picking up the hotel phone, Kyoko panicked when it connected. Do I really want this?

The other end picked up. "Front Desk, how may I be of service?"

"Ah, good evening, this is Mogami from room 205, could you please connect me to room service?"

"Of course. One moment please."

Once her food was ordered (pizza, by the way), Kyoko turned on the TV. There were movies on demand and pay-per-view available. She scrolled through the options absentmindedly, sitting propped up against the headboard, until she came across one of Tsuruga-san's movies. Seeing his face on the screen made missing him feel surreal. To think that the flesh-and-blood Tsuruga Ren was only a phone call away… That those big arms could be wrapped around her within minutes… That she had exclusive rights to those warm lips… And if she didn't call him, this movie would be the only way she'd see him.

Cellphone in hand, Kyoko was dialing Tsuruga-san's number before she had even decided what to say.

"Hello?"

Knowing that she was identified by his caller ID, she wondered if he was being purposefully cold by not greeting her by name.

"Hi Tsuruga-san, it's Mogami." Her voice was flat, trying not to get too emotional too fast.

"Mogami-san, good evening." His answer was succinct. No it's-good-to-hear-from-you or how-are-you-doing? or I'm-sorry-for-making-you-lie-to-me. For him to do away with the pleasantries meant that he was mad enough to forget that he was Tsuruga Ren.

"..."

Minutes passed.

"..."

Neither wanted to hang up but neither wanted to be the first to speak.

Finally Kyoko, knowing that she was in the wrong - and had been the one who called him - broke the silence.

"Umm happy anniversary…"

"Oh, so you remembered. Happy anniversary."

"What do you mean?" Kyoko replied, offended by the implication. "Of course I would remember! Just because we're fighting doesn't mean I don't love you."

Putting that last part on the back burner, Ren questioned smoothly, "We're fighting now?"

"Yes!" Kyoko exploded, caught up with emotional adrenaline. "You're mad because I lied to you and I was too afraid to apologize because I wasn't ready to break up!"

Ren's mouth went dry. "Wait, who's breaking up?"

"You are, with me. At least I think you will when you hear what happened…" The weird emotions that had followed her all day caught up with her brain. Suddenly Kyoko was crying.

"Kyoko... I have no intention of breaking up with you. Please let me come over and we'll talk this over properly."

Kyoko sniffed and nodded to herself. "I'm at the Tokyo Palace Hotel. Room 205."

"Ok I'll be there right away." His keys were in his hand before he'd even snapped his phone shut. Even though it wouldn't be exactly pleasant, he was glad that he was able to see his girlfriend on their anniversary.

* * *

While Kyoko waited, the pizza came up. She'd just greeted the attendant when the door to room 203 burst open.

"Hey, you forgot my chopsticks!" Shou complained loudly.

Oh. God. Kyoko mentally swore, having nearly forgot the little detail that her mortal enemy was living next door.

He jumped a few feet in the air upon recognizing his new neighbour. "You!"

Shoulders slouching, Kyoko sighed, preemptively exhausted from dealing with him. "Good evening Shou."

"What the hell are you doing here?! Spying on me again?" he spat, getting all worked up in his anger.

"For your information," Kyoko shouted, getting caught up in his rhythm (and completely forgetting the room attendant), "My living here has absolutely nothing to do with you!"

The frightened employee held the forgotten chopsticks like a shield on front of her.

Shou grabbed them and snorted. "Whatever. Their pizza sucks by the way. You should order the pudding."

He retreated to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Kyoko apologized to the room attendant and let her in to deposit the food. The woman felt the need to defend the pizza saying it was actually quite delicious and that she didn't know why he was talking about pudding, since they didn't even have pudding on the menu. On the other side of the wall Kyoko could hear the comedy variety show that Shou was watching. He must have turned up the volume to its maximum. Childish. She decided to ignore it.

Now that Shou knew she was next door, having Tsuruga-san over was starting to sound like a very bad idea. If Tsuruga-san found out... or if Shou were to ambush him… Yeah, this was going to be messy. She considered calling Tsuruga-san and cancelling for half a second, until she remembered why he was coming over in the first place: they were fighting and she needed to make it right. As long as she was cautious, and they kept their voices down, she figured that neither of the men would notice the other and everything would be fine.

A few minutes later, a loud knock at her door threw her into a panic. Not so loud! She ran over and yanked a very surprised Tsuruga inside by his shirt, hoping the knock hadn't been heard by the jerk next door. Holding her breath, she listened and waited to determine if Shou had noticed.

"Hello, Mo-"

"Ssh!" Kyoko silenced him, her ear inclined in Shou's direction. Thankfully the TV sounds from next door were as loud as ever. She sighed in relief.

"Uh Mogami-san?" Ren questioned, bringing her back to the present.

Looking up, she realized that she'd been holding the front of his shirt the entire time, with her body pressed up against his.

"Umm sorry!" she squeaked with reddened cheeks, releasing him and jumping back to an appropriate distance.

He gave her a concerned look. Kyoko realized that she was being a terrible host. "So this is my new place. Please make yourself comfortable," she gestured around and quickly pulled out one of the chairs for him to sit on, not wanting him to get any ideas about the bed. As he followed her into the room, the room seemed to shrink. Being alone with a grown man in a hotel room was making her nervous. "The door on the far side of the room leads to the toilet." she finished awkwardly.

As soon as Ren sat down, she asked him if he'd eaten dinner. He declined food, but Kyoko brought him a slice of pizza and a glass of iced tea anyway. Then, she settled herself on the bed, the way she'd been sitting before, trying to act casual but failing miserably.

"So Mogami-san..." he started, trying dissolve the weird atmosphere of the room. The sooner they talked everything through, the better.

Kyoko cut him off by turning on the TV and blasting the volume. If Shou were to turn off his program she didn't want him to overhear their conversation. Ren bristled at the action, annoyed at being interrupted. Kyoko explained sheepishly that she thought they might watch a movie while they ate.

As usual, her strange behaviour only made it clearer that she had a guilty conscience. Or maybe she is actually worried that we are going to break up? Ren resolved to show her that there was nothing to worry about. He picked up his pizza and settled himself on the other side of the bed, propping a pillow behind his back to make sitting more comfortable.

"What would you like to watch?" he asked, with forced calmness.

Having Tsuruga-san so close made thinking extremely difficult. Every muscle was so stiff with tension, she could've passed for a robot. She clicked the remote to select whatever movie she had been looking at before, pretty much at random. Ren chuckled. It was the only romance film he'd starred in throughout his entire career.

"That's a little... it makes me feel strange, watching myself act."

If she could have frozen up any more, Kyoko could have starred in a certain Disney movie. Her mind had been focussed on the noises coming from Shou's suite at the time, praying that he wouldn't get bored and come to pester her. Now she had to come up with a reasonable explanation for her odd choice. "Ah... I thought maybe... you could give me some behind-the-scenes commentary?"

An eyebrow was raised. "Is that so?"

However, Ren agreed to watch the movie. Each scene presented a learning opportunity to Kyoko, and she quickly got into a rhythm of asking questions about pacing and positioning or what his co-stars were like to work with. Falling into his "trusted sempai Tsuruga-san" role, he patiently explained every little detail, sometimes even pausing and rewinding the movie to solidify his point. He explained how they'd only gotten the sunset exactly right by coming to the same location three days in a row and the funny story behind his character's obsession with Pocky. Kyoko listened happily while eating her pizza. Surprisingly, his own slice had also disappeared at some point. And though they'd started the movie as far apart as they could be while still both being on the bed, by the end they were comfortably sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.

"The director was really specific about the facial expressions in this scene," Ren was saying about the climax of the film. "In the end, I got it right by imagining I was saying the lines to you."

_"I've always loved you!" He shouted as the heroine stepped onto the train. "I tried to hide my feelings because I thought we couldn't have a future together... but the worst future I can imagine is one without you in it! "_

His words echoed in Kyoko's ears as the movie ended. Ren reached for the remote, switching the TV off. The world had grown dark and quiet around them and they hadn't bothered turning on the lamp. Without the movie to distract them anymore, it suddenly felt intimate. In the back of her mind she noticed that Shou had turned his TV off or at least lowered the volume. Tsuruga-san had grown quiet as well. Lifting her big doe eyes, she found Ren watching her tenderly. His arm slid around her shoulders as he lowered his head to touch hers, forehead to forehead. Her pulse sped up.

"I love you Mogami Kyoko. And I have no plans to let you go." He kissed her softly on the top of her head and pulled her in for a hug.

It felt so good to be wrapped up in his warmth again. Hearing those words put her heart at ease enough that she could notice the little details. Her face was pressed into his collarbone and she could smell his cologne. Under her fingertips, she could feel his heart beating. They were so close, and it was making her forget the important things like apologizing and explaining what happened last night. Her impulses got the better of her. She licked her bottom lip, with nervous excitement. Slowly she lifted her mouth to his neck and planted a searing kiss just below his jaw. Her spine tingled with electricity and her face heated up a million degrees.

He tried to move his face down to meet hers but she held him tighter, tucking herself under his chin, hiding. If she let herself get any more carried away, she wouldn't be able to get the guilty feeling off her chest.

"I love you too... R-r-re… Kuon." Ren's arms tightened at the use of his real name. "And I'm sorry for lying to you. The truth is I..."

Suddenly she noticed a gentle melody floating into the room from Shou's direction.

Ren heard it too. He could tell it was distracting Kyoko and he really wanted her to stay in the moment. "It's probably just the radio next door," he soothed.

But Kyoko knew that song and it had never made it to the radio. It had always been her favorite of Shou's. It was a melancholic lullaby he'd written well before he became famous. He'd written it for his cousin when she was born. It was about a beautiful girl that he couldn't wait to love in the future, so if she'd forgive him, he'd start loving her today. The song was honest and pure, qualities she used to apply to Shou.

"Kyoko, please tell me what happened. I want us to move past this, but I can't if I don't know the whole story."

With the familiar melody settling around her shoulders, Kyoko found the courage to tell Tsuruga-san what happened at the dress shop. However, her eyes avoided his, restlessly wandering the room as if following the love story that the lyrics wove.

_I don't need to meet you to know_

_how incredible you'll be_

_And being with you will only grow_

_these feelings inside of me_

_I can't wait meet you_

_I can't wait to see..._

_Waiting doesn't come to me eas-i-ly_

_But my love will last an eter-ni-ty_

"That must have been terrifying," Ren said after a while.

At some point he'd started rubbing her back softly, in an effort to comfort her. Together in the dark, they were serenaded by Shou's lullaby. Their bodies relaxed bit-by-bit, Kyoko curling up against Ren 's chest and his arms carefully encircling her small body.

It must have been about half an hour later when Ren noticed that Kyoko wasn't upset any more. They both became aware of each other at the same time, alone in the hotel room. The temperature of Kyoko's back increased by several degrees as she came to terms with their compromising positions. With conflicting urges, Ren leaned down, bringing his face closer to Kyoko's. He made sure to leave an opening for her to push him away if she wanted to, but she didn't. Both of their hearts sped up as they locked eyes in the dark. Ren moved in, closing the distance between their lips, and this time Kyoko didn't shy away.

Their lips met hesitantly at first, Ren not sure when Kyoko would decide that they'd gone too far, which is something she did every time they kissed. But his warmth lit a fire inside her, and his cologne was all around her. It drove her to want to feel closer to him in a way she'd never wanted before. Pressing her lips harder against his, she brought her hands up to cup his face. Her enthusiasm called to Ren who then opened his mouth against hers licking the edge of her lip and then teeth and tongue as she let him in. It was like they melted into each other, hands caressing, faces pressed into the other.

Ren rolled Kyoko around so that he was on top, trapping her legs beneath him and then lowered his upper body deliberately. Kyoko couldn't believe how amazingly gorgeous he was. Her fingers tangled in his hair trying to bring his lips back to hers. He gave her only a small peck before nuzzling into her neck. Soft moans escaped her lips and her hands became busy sliding up and down his back. As Ren ventured further down her neck, placing kisses along her skin, Kyoko's hands grew bolder, reaching along his sides until she found his hip bone. The delicate caress of her small uncertain hands as they traced the edge of Ren's pants had him unhinged. Suddenly his lips crashed into hers wildly and their position shifted just enough that she felt him pressing against her thigh.

Shocked back to her senses, Kyoko pushed Ren away and sat up. It took her a moment to catch her breath and for that warmth spiraling through her to calm. It wasn't that she didn't like it, so much as she didn't understand what it meant. And that's what scared her.

Ren didn't need to ask what was wrong, but he did anyway because that was something a gentleman should do. He mentally berated himself for getting too carried away. The unbelievable sensation of her hands on his hips had made him subconsciously adjust into proper missionary position.

"Fine!" She squeaked breathlessly, her face redder than a tomato. "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable."

"No it's not - I wasn't - it's just -" Kyoko sputtered in broken sentences.

"You aren't ready yet," Ren suggested softly to which Kyoko nodded in agreement.

Looking at his watch, Ren stood up and stretched. "I should be leaving anyhow. I've got a busy schedule tomorrow."

Kyoko gulped down the rest of her drink and got up to let him out.

"Goodnight Tsuruga-san."

Back to "Tsuruga", huh?

Ren crossed his arms sternly in front of the door. Her puzzled look asked him to explain what was wrong.

"I'm not leaving until you call me by my first name, Kyoko."

"Oh," she blushed. "Then goodnight R... Kuon."

Satisfied, he kissed the top of her head, smoothing her hair with his large hand. "Goodnight Kyoko. Happy anniversary."

He opened the door, letting himself out. Kyoko watched him leave, giving him a cute wave that he returned with a dazzling smile.

* * *

After the door shut, she turned around to face the empty suite that was her new home. Her nose lamented the loss of the food smells of the Daruma-ya. It was colder here, too, because she'd gotten used to the steam that rose from the kitchen to settle in her bedroom. That place had become her home, matching her identity and values so much more than this posh palace. But the thing she missed the most was how full of life the Daruma-ya had been. Regular patrons would welcome her home in the evening as if they were a part of her grab-bag mismatched family. Voices and laughter rose and fell, sometimes so loud that she'd have to put in earplugs to get some peace and quiet, but they reminded her that she wasn't alone. In her suite, by contrast, everything was so quiet… it felt like a grave.

Homesickness was something she'd never experienced before. Throughout her childhood, she'd lived and worked at Shou's parent's ryokan, but when she left, it was on a grand adventure with her prince charming at her side. Her new house was the fairy tale castle of her dreams, so she'd hardly given any thought to where she'd lived before. And after all of the drama with Shou, she'd bid good riddance to bad rubbish to the place that wasn't ever a castle at all. It was strange to think that it wasn't until she'd started living with the elderly couple of the Daruma-ya at age 16 that she'd found a place where she belonged.

She trudged over to the bath, figuring that it would help to put her more at ease. While she washed herself, she began humming to fill the silence. A few bars into the song, she realized that she was humming Shou's "Eternal Love". Her first reflex had been to stop altogether out of spite, but she resisted. It was actually a very beautiful song that she loved very much. Just because Shou had written it didn't mean that she had to hate it; and she didn't have to feel guilty about liking it either. Giving up such pointless habits felt soothing, like the angry tangles in her heart were finally getting brushed out.

Still humming to herself, she entered the bedroom wearing only a towel. Rummaging through her dresser drawers to find her pyjamas, she heard a responding strum of a guitar on the same verse that she'd just been humming. She quieted herself to see if Shou had been listening to her or if it had only been a coincidence. The guitar continued for a while and then dropped off again, almost like it would when Shou used to write music in the apartment. He'd play a few chords, stop and write something down and then continue playing, or start again from scratch. But the song he was playing was an old one, from when they still lived in Kyoto, so why would he be changing it now?

After changing into her pyjamas, she grabbed a pillow from the bed and settled herself against the wall adjacent to Shou's room. Just hearing him working on music made her feel less lonely. Eventually she nodded off to sleep.


End file.
